Sunday, July 23, 2006

Wow, it's been too long since I added an entry to the blog. I blame work. I'm an assistant manager now, and won't be for very long.
I'll be stepping down as soon as my boss has her vacation.
I decided on this for a few reasons, not the least of which is the increased stress and reduced family time.
I was raised that family comes first, and I'm unable to even have a game of cards with the kids right now, unless I do my paperwork early.
Anyway, it's all got me thinking about what I want from life, what I want my legacy to be, and how I want the kids to remember me at my funeral. I don't want my kids to look back and think 'she wasn't there when we wanted her'. I want to be remembered for putting my family first, putting them above the job. After all, right now, we have a comfortable life. We aren't starving, the kids have plenty of amusing distractions (aka toys), we are taking steps to spend more recreational time (gradually, so I don't get too much resistance) as a family.

Why did I feel the need to persue a promotion I didn't really want? Good question, but at least I came to my senses before the company gave me my own store. Oh, they tried, but I escaped by the skin of my teeth, thanks to my manager. The pursuit of the almighty dollar isn't all it's cracked up to be. Now, don't misunderstand me, I'm not the type to quit life and job and become a hermit. I couldn't if I wanted to; not with three kids. But if we're doing fine with the money that we do have coming in, and we're not happy because I'm always working either in the store or on paperwork, why work harder?

I want to pick up my hobbies again. I want to pursue gardening, and write more. I want to learn the skills that will allow us to live comfortably should "guerrilla existance" become necessary. I want to pick up my quilting again and stop having to make excuses for why my parents Christmas gifts are not finished. In short, I don't want to work my way into headaches, stomaches, panic attacks and stress leave; which is what so many managers are suffering from right now.

I don't expect that the boss will take it well, and I don't expect her to understand.
I only hope she won't give me the silent treatment.

No comments: