If It's Easy

I am thrilled to report that my speculative fiction short story has finally been born! I'd shout it from the treetops, but I have a thing about heights.

The story is a bit of romance, a bit of speculative fiction and a bit of an adventure. Here's the synopsis,

When a Djinn is discovered inside a popular author's computer, it's only the beginning of the strange twist Coriander's life has taken. Now she's on the cusp of an out-of-this-world adventure with a woman that's stolen her heart, and is offering much, much more than the moon.

I’m very  proud of it, but I’m biased, and absolutely captured by these characters.  Coriander Wolf is a popular science fiction author who falls head over heels for Devi Aradesta, who is everything Cori is not. Where Cori is a shy, blonde introvert, Devi is exotic, forward, crisp and alluring with a gentle voice with a hint of a mysterious accent. They are about to tumble into an adventure neither of them saw coming.

The thing about short fiction is that you don’t need to set aside hours to read. It’s cheaper. Instead of laying out $18 like so many bookstores ask, short fiction is an inexpensive investment, and it offers up more choice in the literary landscape.

‘If It’s Easy’ can be found on Amazon right now for a mere .99 cents USD I hope you’re intrigued enough to go buy a copy, read it and then come back here and tell me what you thought.

I hope you enjoy it, I'm off to go work on the sequel now. Cheers!

Change And Growth

There are many reasons why I've been away from the blog so long, and I don't see any of them as excuses, per say. None of our lives are simple and uncomplicated, and sometimes, priorities rear their heads and something has to give.
In my case, that was the blog.
But for the past few weeks, I've felt a nagging feeling drawing me back...so here I am.

I don't make resolutions so much as set goals, and the beginning of this year was no exception. I'm determined to sell two short stories this year. This sounds simple, and I only wish it were. But it seems that what I write cannot be easily classified. At first, I thought it was lesbian fiction. But what I write is more than that. My favoured pieces of my own creation seem to lean toward the 'speculative fiction' genre, but upon careful study of the markets, what I write is not dark enough for the paying spec fic markets. Apparently dark and demented sells.

Something else that I've been working on is building my platform. The non-writers among you are likely scratching your heads in puzzlement. Essentially, platform is a way of getting an author's name out into the world and building a following in a (hopefully) authentic way. This takes time. Even more so when the novel isn't finished yet! So I've been learning, researching and trying to build my platform one brick at a time.

At the same time, I've been knitting. Some of you may remember that I enjoy knitting socks. I enjoy the peaceful repetition of the cuff and leg, and the challenge of turning the heel. The whole process allows me some sort of creative space to mentally work out plot lines and character flaws. So no matter what my writing is doing, I'm still being creative. And even if I don't write a word for days, my characters are never far from my thoughts.

I've also been dealing with a medical issue. It's not life-threatening, but it will be life-changing, if only for a little while. I'll talk more about it another time, but I will tell you that pain is far more crippling than I thought. Honestly, pain is a bitch. The good part of this medical stuff though, is that it's made me aware of my own limitations, which has in turn, prompted growth and change in our youngest. In a good way.

I guess the take away of this post is that everything in life can either hinder us, or help us. It's a lesson I've had to learn over the past few weeks, and while I used to say I hated change, I can honestly say that the Universe doesn't care what I like or not.
Change is inevitable, and all we can do is react to it in a way that we hopefully come out the other side as better people. 

Deer Flies, Moose and Sex

My name is Carolyn, and I'm an author.
Who took a very long break.
Okay, now that my AA-type moment is over, let me explain.
Many years ago, I wrote a book, A Thousand Shades of Feeling. I had a publisher and a contract, and when I finally held the book in my hands, I was ecstatic! I wanted to tell everyone I saw, whether I knew them or not. But I couldn't. I didn't dare, because, I thought, what if they actually want to read it and they find out it has, gasp, lesbians in it? Even worse, what would they say when they come across the sex scenes? (Even though those scenes were very tame by today's standards) So there I was, a published author who was terrified to trumpet the news, out of fear.

At the time, I hadn't come out to my family. (I am very out now!) As much as I loved my book, my story and my characters, I wasn't sure I could face the world that actually knew me. To make matters worse, my then-publisher had issues with their printer, finances and a host of other problems I won't go into. I now know they were in over their heads. My manuscript had been edited many times over, but none of those edits made it into the finished book. My print-baby came into the world looking unpolished, falling apart and so very amateur that in time, I began to be embarrassed by it. And yet, I still loved the story. Despite it's flaws, the book drew a readership and fans. I remember going to a bookstore  and signing copies, and I still scratch my head over a woman who gushed and raved over the book. She asked if I would allow her friend to take our picture together, and I remember blushing fiercely as I agreed. While I still marvel at her unbridled enthusiasm all those years ago, her memory has encouraged me through the years, whether she knows it or not. The book lived through two print runs, although I don't remember making more than $150.00 in royalties. In time, the book died, the publisher closed their doors and I chalked it all up to a bad experience.

When my eldest son was very small, I left his father. We didn't have a lot of money, but we lived some interesting experiences! I have always loved dragons, and being a storyteller by nature, I would tell him tales of a young dragon to keep us both entertained. It was always the same dragon, Frizzle. (That's Frizzle up and to the left, as a part of my writer's group logo) Frizzle lived an interesting life, and I was constantly challenged to come up with new tales, but of course, as a parent, I wanted the tales to have a lesson. In time, we collected a few Frizzle stories. One of them was published, and I continue to be very proud of my Frizzle stories.
The last piece of my writing that saw publication was an article that my partner and I co-wrote on Cambridge, Ontario. It, along with accompanying photos,  was published in a magazine that was short-lived and very few people saw. We may likely have the only remaining copy.
For many years, the sting from A Thousand Shades of Feeling prevented me from writing anything else seriously. I struggle to remain impartial about it all these days, but I'll admit, it does still bother me. Not because of the lost royalties, but because of the legacy it left behind. Much like a persistent, horrible aftertaste.

For a long time I grappled with the big question, should I breathe new life into it, make it the diamond I know it can be and seek out a new publisher? In time, and with a ton of support from my partner, I decided against it. I'm not sure I can adequately explain why.

I have been writing a new novel these past few months, and it feels very much like a new beginning for me. Yes, there are lesbian characters in this one. (I am a lesbian after all, and writers should write what they know!) There are sex scenes in this one too, and they are not the polite fade-to-grey ones I wrote before! The story is more multi-layered, the characters far more real and gritty and flawed than my others. These ladies breathe. I love this story. I hear April and Lani in my head at night, while I do the dishes and while I stand over the grill. They're very insistent that I get their story just right. Someone once said that writing is a passion driven by the voices we hear in our head. I know that's true in my case at least!

So yes, I am an author who has taken a very long break.
I am on a new ride, I am very much a new person.
One who still hears character's voices, but one who does not worry about sex scenes or other people's judgements.
One who can bring back Frizzle and write the very next day about romance between women.
One who sees a story in the moose that stands across the road and comes up with titles while swatting deer flies.